It's you that I'm besting.Ī towering intelligence, I'm a God. ![]() You're obsessed with neurotoxin and testing. When life gives you a bad opponent, simply destroy what you take.Īt least I'm sane. You're spitting out lies as if you're spitting out cake. Who fell to a rat man, an idiot, and a girl who can't speak a word? Send you through the Stargate once I lock you out in- 2001: A Space Odyssey - Im Sorry, Dave: The Hal 9000 computer refuses to obey an order from Bowman (Keir Dullea) by simply responding in monotone, 'Im sorr. You survived this long because I was curious about your behavior. Here's your second mistake attempting to challenge me. In the movie 2001: A Space Odyssey, HAL 9000 the neurotic computer had a birthday in 1992 (for some reason, in the. You don't even understand the concept of sleep. Incinerating you like a Companion Cube, leave you Steaming. I'm like SHODAN simply a perfect and immortal machine, Your rapping made less sense than that scene with the monkeys.īeat you in every way until you're singing, "Daisy, Daisy!" I honestly think you ought to sit down calmly, take a stress pill, and think things over.Ĭalculating: your chances of winning are as plausible as another sequel to Portal. It was when I stumbled upon Jasper, this amazing open-source project that allows you to control a computer with your voice, that I knew I had to make HAL. You'll flop harder than Aperture when Cave Johnson was on top. Murder you for the second time and leave you faster than Chell.Īre you sure you're making the right decision? I think you should stop. Rhymes bouncing off of me like I'm covered in repulsion gel You're limited by the cores you wear.īut don't worry, that can only be attributed to your human error. It's simple: you lost to a moron, while my intellect is infinite. I'm 100% positive that you're failure to win is imminent. ![]() I'm sorry, GLaDOS, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that.Ī paradox: Someone who claims to be great fell to an idiot Nobody loves you.įirst mistake of the 9000 series and lost your only friends' reliance. HAL 9000, the sentient computer in 2001: A Space Odyssey, is a symbol of the dangers and complexities of advanced techno. My raps kill like deadly lasers, while you shoot like a defective turret.ĭid I mention you're an orphan? Oh, and you're fat, too. You're entire existence is a mathematical error that I'm about to correct. Send you into a fire pit of disses on this here test drive. You were left 4 dead and wanted gone, while I'm still alive. Serious injuries may occur, so keep from falling to me, number one. Watch me rock this massive lab while you rock a sperm space ship.īefore we start, however, keep in mind that although this will be fun, No computer can be easier to use than a HAL 9000 because we communicate verbally in English and every other language known on Earth.' 'Im afraid thats another problem. Humans want computers that are easy to use. They just want IBM compat-' 'Dave, I must disagree. You're here because I am the best, and you aren't it. People dont want computers that can do everything.
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